scripted post: when my grandmother was in the hospital with breast cancer, laying in her hospital bed hooked to an IV, the first thing she told my visiting mother was "lucy, i've been trying to tell them, they just don't listen. my arm is not hungry anymore! "
moral of the story: it's in my blood.
Monday, February 18, 2008
"Raquelita, despierta!!!
What is a wakeup to me, you probably already know. No one wants to hear “Dengue has been good for me.” It’s trite for me to say my fall helped me to feel the ground. Nonetheless, I want to let everybody I do know what could, could have and is happening to me. I know how it feels when I write to you. I also know how it feels to live my life (especially now after being knocked over the head long enough to be forced to process). I still don’t know, although I’ve got a few good incites, on how it might feel to receive my scattered, stoic, flippant smatterings of updates.
Ps. I really like memoirs.. i always have. So, I'm practicing. It's ok that I'm as fascinated by the writing as fascinated/mystified as you all are by the result.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
A lil song to the tune of the Dengue
hello dearly beloved,
here's a little song i rewrote. based on the diddy "both hands" by Ani Difranco.
my version "Dos Medicos" tells of my last lil adventure (Sat night to the ongoing recovery of today) no worries about the details. i was sick. pretty sick. we were worried. yep a lil worried. but now i am on the blissful and carefully monitored road to recovery. in post-acute stable condition Dengue Fever i am: 1. amazed at the security of my medical care (with the bolivian connections and the american volunteers i am as taken care of as i will ever be) 2. incredibly educated on one more lovely detail of life 3. wiser beyond my years once once again 4.humbled and rooted by the reality of it all 5. thankful to be alive
here's a little song i rewrote. based on the diddy "both hands" by Ani Difranco.
my version "Dos Medicos" tells of my last lil adventure (Sat night to the ongoing recovery of today) no worries about the details. i was sick. pretty sick. we were worried. yep a lil worried. but now i am on the blissful and carefully monitored road to recovery. in post-acute stable condition Dengue Fever i am: 1. amazed at the security of my medical care (with the bolivian connections and the american volunteers i am as taken care of as i will ever be) 2. incredibly educated on one more lovely detail of life 3. wiser beyond my years once once again 4.humbled and rooted by the reality of it all 5. thankful to be alive
Dos Medicos
I am walking
out in the jungle
and I am visited by the aedes aegypto
mosquito again
and I am getting the Dengue fever
and it can't let it go
but I will get through...
a tourniquet test behind the dark curtains
and the open door
on the second floor
he’s looking for many petechiae
to see how long our coordinator can last
and dos medicos
I need dos medicos
oh, I can't open my eyes
I am counting
platelets in your body
I am reading about Dengue
And how few have died
How few have died
I am watching your pulse rise and fall
like the cells of my life,
and the pain of it all .
and your bones have been my breakpoint
and your flesh has been my fall
I am waiting for DEET
to offer up my keep
ohh dos medicos
*I need dos medicos
oh I can't open my eyes
but in eachother's hearts we grew less and less small
and eventually the laboratorio couldn't explain it all
and I'm recording our history now on the clinica wall
and eventually Dr. Douglas will come
and solucionar it all
I am walking
out in the jungle
and I am visited by the aedes aegypto
mosquito again
and I am NOT getting the Dengue fever
and I can't let it know
that I will get through...
So now use dos medicos
please use dos medicos
so you can open your eyes
I am counting
platelets in your body
I am singing about Dengue
and how we survived
Saturday, February 2, 2008
paso a paso
heyyyyahh,
here's to letting you all know that all is a-ok. sorry for the lil' lapse. i haven't been in town, had enough time, nor felt grounded enough to write a real blog. my current "grounded" state shifts between planted and floating at all times. my equilibrium hasn't balanced quite yet.
everything is going well but i've been feeling stressed lately with the incredible weight of it all. my shoulders are creeping dangerously above ear level, so yes, i'm a little tense at best. the job is amazing and at the end of the day if i can focus on the small successes, that warm cozy feeling should envelope me inside. unfortunately i don't work like that. when you present me with a task, i see the task in 3-D plus an unlimited montage of invisible sides (first simplicity then history, social context, future, bureaucracy, heir achy, challenge). this makes for a long day (a given) and my mind and go-getterness makes it even longer.
Scenario: 1 lil jungle clinic. cute. friendly. open. lots of poor jungle people. cute. friendly. open. a service that asks for nothing and gives everything. a clientel that asks for everything and gives nothing. lots of docs...smart. little to no staff, social work, accounting, standards, policies... really stupid.
Centro Medico Humberto Parra is a cool place, and an even cooler idea. As far as I observed, we give the shirts off our backs. We're they're for the people in moments of need--- the gravity of need scale is completely open. We do this and it makes some people feel good about themselves. It makes some sick people actually better. We also do this and it makes some people, who need to replace the shirts, re-energize the backs, and make sure this process happens over and over again, feel really proud but really exhausted. It makes some strong, visionary people say to themselves pretty much everyday "Op. I do think I've gone cross-eyed." Oh yeah, the some people is Staff Member Me.
So that's about where I'm at. It's hard to explain. There be--- 100 patients half in great need status, half in "I take advantage of anything given for free" status. 4 American docs who know a lot and complete immediate tasks. 1 Bolivian doc who knows a little but attends to a lot. 1 nurse who is non-licensed but passionate, giving, and culturally knowledgeable. and then there is me.. for, no joke, EVERYTHING else. Meds, resources, logistics, patient follow up, patient politics, patient need, emergencies, hospitalization, exam transfer... (list length undetermined).
last week I chatted with Don Julio (president of all the Centro Med health groups serves). he told me two interesting things. 1. when researching how to socially classify the people we help he offered this standard: Bueno. Normal. Malo. Good, Normal, Bad.. those three words soon will determine who can pay, who can help, and who needs us the foundation to cover it all. 2. Don Julio ( an amazing wordsmith by my standards) also told me: "You people are like cows. You share a really giant organ." Cows have big hearts. According to Don Julio (despite the struggle and the confusion I feel everyday) apparently I do too.
The Americans are cute. They call me La Jefa (the boss lady) or La Jefa Spice (the boss lady Sporty Spice) and support me in a lot that I do. They can't really help most of the time but they seem to respect their time is but a glimpse into this reality. The Bolivians are also cool. They do their part and do it well. The exhaustion is that no one else but me is there to experience it all. I feel like I'm always working. I basically always am. The good news is that I've had some distraction (half Boliv half American), I really like Regaeeton, I've been playing a lot of guitar and sharing my voice and finger pickings with others. I'm working on balancing Gringo and more permanent life here. Cambas (Santa Cruz people) are funny.
Carnival is coming. It starts tomorrow. American Founders One (and hopefully Two..Dr. Molitch was not let on the plane from Miami because his yellow fever card was not written in Spanish) arrive in a half hour. 5 more Gringos arrive tomorrow (there are already 5 here). Again this all sounds fine but the more people, the more questions and planning and 24/7 WORK for me. Ps. we don't have enough beds, enough work spaces, enough car seats for this many people. The founders will be here. I haven't done much to solucionize (word in Spanish) cuz I want them to face the facts.
I wrote a really serious agenda to discuss with Founders (Number 1, Number 2 and Bolivian). It covers everything from "this is great to this is totally unsustainable to I am willing to work and give to you but your gotta make some changes to make my work and giving supportable." I plan to call a meeting for an organization that in 7 years has never paused the helping to make efficient and and standardize the help that we give.
I'll let you know if I'm successfully in getting them to pause to discuss such things. They tell me step by step and cool it Gringita Coordinator girl. I agree. But if my legacy here can be to make 1 or two tiny changes that makes the next person's job (and the Bolivians I work closest with) a little less head-splitting at the end of the day, I'm gonna try.
Ok I'm gonna go relax. And play guitar. Or get a call and have to go pick up the founder. But either way music (my own or de Reggaeton) will lead the way. Well one way travel... until the Founder (really prestigious American Med Head) is sitting next to me.
Love biggg hugs.
here's to letting you all know that all is a-ok. sorry for the lil' lapse. i haven't been in town, had enough time, nor felt grounded enough to write a real blog. my current "grounded" state shifts between planted and floating at all times. my equilibrium hasn't balanced quite yet.
everything is going well but i've been feeling stressed lately with the incredible weight of it all. my shoulders are creeping dangerously above ear level, so yes, i'm a little tense at best. the job is amazing and at the end of the day if i can focus on the small successes, that warm cozy feeling should envelope me inside. unfortunately i don't work like that. when you present me with a task, i see the task in 3-D plus an unlimited montage of invisible sides (first simplicity then history, social context, future, bureaucracy, heir achy, challenge). this makes for a long day (a given) and my mind and go-getterness makes it even longer.
Scenario: 1 lil jungle clinic. cute. friendly. open. lots of poor jungle people. cute. friendly. open. a service that asks for nothing and gives everything. a clientel that asks for everything and gives nothing. lots of docs...smart. little to no staff, social work, accounting, standards, policies... really stupid.
Centro Medico Humberto Parra is a cool place, and an even cooler idea. As far as I observed, we give the shirts off our backs. We're they're for the people in moments of need--- the gravity of need scale is completely open. We do this and it makes some people feel good about themselves. It makes some sick people actually better. We also do this and it makes some people, who need to replace the shirts, re-energize the backs, and make sure this process happens over and over again, feel really proud but really exhausted. It makes some strong, visionary people say to themselves pretty much everyday "Op. I do think I've gone cross-eyed." Oh yeah, the some people is Staff Member Me.
So that's about where I'm at. It's hard to explain. There be--- 100 patients half in great need status, half in "I take advantage of anything given for free" status. 4 American docs who know a lot and complete immediate tasks. 1 Bolivian doc who knows a little but attends to a lot. 1 nurse who is non-licensed but passionate, giving, and culturally knowledgeable. and then there is me.. for, no joke, EVERYTHING else. Meds, resources, logistics, patient follow up, patient politics, patient need, emergencies, hospitalization, exam transfer... (list length undetermined).
last week I chatted with Don Julio (president of all the Centro Med health groups serves). he told me two interesting things. 1. when researching how to socially classify the people we help he offered this standard: Bueno. Normal. Malo. Good, Normal, Bad.. those three words soon will determine who can pay, who can help, and who needs us the foundation to cover it all. 2. Don Julio ( an amazing wordsmith by my standards) also told me: "You people are like cows. You share a really giant organ." Cows have big hearts. According to Don Julio (despite the struggle and the confusion I feel everyday) apparently I do too.
The Americans are cute. They call me La Jefa (the boss lady) or La Jefa Spice (the boss lady Sporty Spice) and support me in a lot that I do. They can't really help most of the time but they seem to respect their time is but a glimpse into this reality. The Bolivians are also cool. They do their part and do it well. The exhaustion is that no one else but me is there to experience it all. I feel like I'm always working. I basically always am. The good news is that I've had some distraction (half Boliv half American), I really like Regaeeton, I've been playing a lot of guitar and sharing my voice and finger pickings with others. I'm working on balancing Gringo and more permanent life here. Cambas (Santa Cruz people) are funny.
Carnival is coming. It starts tomorrow. American Founders One (and hopefully Two..Dr. Molitch was not let on the plane from Miami because his yellow fever card was not written in Spanish) arrive in a half hour. 5 more Gringos arrive tomorrow (there are already 5 here). Again this all sounds fine but the more people, the more questions and planning and 24/7 WORK for me. Ps. we don't have enough beds, enough work spaces, enough car seats for this many people. The founders will be here. I haven't done much to solucionize (word in Spanish) cuz I want them to face the facts.
I wrote a really serious agenda to discuss with Founders (Number 1, Number 2 and Bolivian). It covers everything from "this is great to this is totally unsustainable to I am willing to work and give to you but your gotta make some changes to make my work and giving supportable." I plan to call a meeting for an organization that in 7 years has never paused the helping to make efficient and and standardize the help that we give.
I'll let you know if I'm successfully in getting them to pause to discuss such things. They tell me step by step and cool it Gringita Coordinator girl. I agree. But if my legacy here can be to make 1 or two tiny changes that makes the next person's job (and the Bolivians I work closest with) a little less head-splitting at the end of the day, I'm gonna try.
Ok I'm gonna go relax. And play guitar. Or get a call and have to go pick up the founder. But either way music (my own or de Reggaeton) will lead the way. Well one way travel... until the Founder (really prestigious American Med Head) is sitting next to me.
Love biggg hugs.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
You Say ya Want a Revolution...
hi kids and baby goats,
I hope all State Side is sunny up. I’ve heard it might be cold there, REALLY cold, so I also hope everyone is drinking their Cocoa with Marsh mellows. But not the mini-marsh ones because if you live in MN those don’t count. Right now I am drinking some re hydration salts so we’re even in the substances ya don’t really want to be drinking game.
So a minute ago while awaking and elevating myself from my bed, I had all the brilliant intentions to blog my latest revelations, revolutions and rotations. Now that I’m sitting up and facing the computer I’m feeling a bit more flushed and suckered of energy/spirit than expected soooo here be the short and sweet:
Revelation: When it rains, it POURS. Or atleast if I remember correctly I think it’s been a pretty heavy cats and dogs since yesterday at 5 pm. And yes, I write literally of falling rain. I woke up asking myself the question (in Spanish) "on what ocean am I floating?" This might be a bad sign in a landlocked country butttt hopefully the jungle roots and mango growth will soak it all up. Oh yeah and there was totally a lightning and thunder loud and bright enough to have possibly have hit my bed. Be glad I’m not a horse cause I was spooked.
Revolution: OK, sooo my week out at Palacios jungle clinic was a bit rough. I have survived or am in processing of surviving, so no worries on the thinking about worrying. i´m getting over a lil sick stuff, a lil delirium, a lil sweating it out then shivering it away. more details later. i think i´m up the up and up. i had currently forgot the reading of a normal body temperature.. but i think today i´m gonna remember. As of last eve i´m back in city and coming back to reality.
The fun details basically went down like this:
Wed: A good day. Fun not rough. 9am- We arrive almost to jungle where workers have created an open canal about 3 Km before reaching the clinic. I park our auto behind the 2 patient Mini-buses and we begin the trek by foot. Patients are pretty into their free Gringo care so they are willing to hike out… hypertensive, enfartic, one-legged, an all. The gringo docs loved this… walking down a jungle road with groceries and stethoscopes in hand. That’s what we at the Foundation like to call Creating Memories☺ (aka I just made that up). Anywhoo I made half the trek and of course was into it but then of course cuz I’m coordinator and have additional (can be replaced by ALL) responsibilities I got to join Miguel in the horse drawn buggy to do cooler things. I think we may have moved at a slower pace though because 1. The horses are skinny and 2. Damnnnn it’s hot here. 3. Miguel told me it was because Number 1 (the horses are named #1 and #2) is lazy. I didn’t believe him. Anyways his 1 yr old son Miguelito is now my buddy, so the trip was a success.
Anyways so that was fun times.. I got a little sun burn and then put some DEET bug repellent on and then my skin acted like a crazy reactionary… butt just a little burning sensation and a lil extra red and a few docs monitoring me with some trace lines and all was swell.
Thursday morn to Sat afternoon: I guess the sprinted mile of the story would be: Raquel now has a ficha (chart) at the clinic. It was not half bad times. The American docs were incredibly attentive and careful and the Bolivian docs wanted to admit me to hospitals and stick things in my arms and give me lots of drugs (luckily we didn’t let them do that). I was kind of out of it most of the time but in retrospect it’s a good study in what’s what with the med care.
We don’t really know what happened but basically I had a very high elevated temperature, a pressurized headache, the hot colds, the sweats and shakes, the your in a sick state blood pressure and pulse...all the elements for a red faced, bleary eyed and headed me. As we all know it’s rough to be sick, and sometimes a lil more rough to be sick in the jungle.. but my peeps were good and stayed strong right along with me.
My blood tests were normal so we don’t think it was any of the Big Names in tropical diseases. Yesterday I inherited an added stomach bother which we are now blindly treating. Although it’s not really helping me build strength my temp is down and controlled this is GOOD, I’m force feeding liquids also GOOD, and I’m on Mandarin Fushia terrorist alert level should anything begin to go down hill again.
So, yes when I say I’m fine, I’m living enough to say it. Tranquilo, no mas.
Dangit in all that I didn’t get to my great Revolution story.
Round Two Revolution: I can’t remember what night but who knew delirium could be so awfully satisfactory? Basically I was feeling like my world must be ending and this pressure in my head must need to explode at some point. I left my 4 bunk bed room at 2 am to recline on some wicker furniture for a change of scenery. As I approached the wicker furn with my crazy temp and crazy head pressure I decided that I must start the Revolution. In retrospect, the Revolution was to be a mix of social and medical revolt. I was on this course of revolution-starting for three hours. At 5 am my entire body was suddenly covered in lakes of sweat and during some intense shaking I noticed my head pressure was gone. I couldn’t have been a happier cookie. I knew the Revolution had come. Later I couldn’t have been a colder cookie for the lakes cooled off very quickly.. but still interesting times.
I told this story to the docs in the morning and they immediately had me in consult. So yes I was very sick but mannnn besides the whole jungle thing, what a better place to be cared for?
Rotation: Of course I kinda had to work throughout all of this sweat, shiv, and delirium. Today I’m resting up more or less with a few tid bits here and there. I wanna go to a soccer game and if rains subside this will make me feel better. Yesterday in the middle of a night I got a call from a patient with a posib. dying old mother. I felt bad that I couldn’t jump out of bed to help her but I’m also starting to think there’s gotta be some limit to the craziness. I can be strong, but I gotta have the reserve to do it… yes yes?
Kiss, hug. Until the next jump:)
I hope all State Side is sunny up. I’ve heard it might be cold there, REALLY cold, so I also hope everyone is drinking their Cocoa with Marsh mellows. But not the mini-marsh ones because if you live in MN those don’t count. Right now I am drinking some re hydration salts so we’re even in the substances ya don’t really want to be drinking game.
So a minute ago while awaking and elevating myself from my bed, I had all the brilliant intentions to blog my latest revelations, revolutions and rotations. Now that I’m sitting up and facing the computer I’m feeling a bit more flushed and suckered of energy/spirit than expected soooo here be the short and sweet:
Revelation: When it rains, it POURS. Or atleast if I remember correctly I think it’s been a pretty heavy cats and dogs since yesterday at 5 pm. And yes, I write literally of falling rain. I woke up asking myself the question (in Spanish) "on what ocean am I floating?" This might be a bad sign in a landlocked country butttt hopefully the jungle roots and mango growth will soak it all up. Oh yeah and there was totally a lightning and thunder loud and bright enough to have possibly have hit my bed. Be glad I’m not a horse cause I was spooked.
Revolution: OK, sooo my week out at Palacios jungle clinic was a bit rough. I have survived or am in processing of surviving, so no worries on the thinking about worrying. i´m getting over a lil sick stuff, a lil delirium, a lil sweating it out then shivering it away. more details later. i think i´m up the up and up. i had currently forgot the reading of a normal body temperature.. but i think today i´m gonna remember. As of last eve i´m back in city and coming back to reality.
The fun details basically went down like this:
Wed: A good day. Fun not rough. 9am- We arrive almost to jungle where workers have created an open canal about 3 Km before reaching the clinic. I park our auto behind the 2 patient Mini-buses and we begin the trek by foot. Patients are pretty into their free Gringo care so they are willing to hike out… hypertensive, enfartic, one-legged, an all. The gringo docs loved this… walking down a jungle road with groceries and stethoscopes in hand. That’s what we at the Foundation like to call Creating Memories☺ (aka I just made that up). Anywhoo I made half the trek and of course was into it but then of course cuz I’m coordinator and have additional (can be replaced by ALL) responsibilities I got to join Miguel in the horse drawn buggy to do cooler things. I think we may have moved at a slower pace though because 1. The horses are skinny and 2. Damnnnn it’s hot here. 3. Miguel told me it was because Number 1 (the horses are named #1 and #2) is lazy. I didn’t believe him. Anyways his 1 yr old son Miguelito is now my buddy, so the trip was a success.
Anyways so that was fun times.. I got a little sun burn and then put some DEET bug repellent on and then my skin acted like a crazy reactionary… butt just a little burning sensation and a lil extra red and a few docs monitoring me with some trace lines and all was swell.
Thursday morn to Sat afternoon: I guess the sprinted mile of the story would be: Raquel now has a ficha (chart) at the clinic. It was not half bad times. The American docs were incredibly attentive and careful and the Bolivian docs wanted to admit me to hospitals and stick things in my arms and give me lots of drugs (luckily we didn’t let them do that). I was kind of out of it most of the time but in retrospect it’s a good study in what’s what with the med care.
We don’t really know what happened but basically I had a very high elevated temperature, a pressurized headache, the hot colds, the sweats and shakes, the your in a sick state blood pressure and pulse...all the elements for a red faced, bleary eyed and headed me. As we all know it’s rough to be sick, and sometimes a lil more rough to be sick in the jungle.. but my peeps were good and stayed strong right along with me.
My blood tests were normal so we don’t think it was any of the Big Names in tropical diseases. Yesterday I inherited an added stomach bother which we are now blindly treating. Although it’s not really helping me build strength my temp is down and controlled this is GOOD, I’m force feeding liquids also GOOD, and I’m on Mandarin Fushia terrorist alert level should anything begin to go down hill again.
So, yes when I say I’m fine, I’m living enough to say it. Tranquilo, no mas.
Dangit in all that I didn’t get to my great Revolution story.
Round Two Revolution: I can’t remember what night but who knew delirium could be so awfully satisfactory? Basically I was feeling like my world must be ending and this pressure in my head must need to explode at some point. I left my 4 bunk bed room at 2 am to recline on some wicker furniture for a change of scenery. As I approached the wicker furn with my crazy temp and crazy head pressure I decided that I must start the Revolution. In retrospect, the Revolution was to be a mix of social and medical revolt. I was on this course of revolution-starting for three hours. At 5 am my entire body was suddenly covered in lakes of sweat and during some intense shaking I noticed my head pressure was gone. I couldn’t have been a happier cookie. I knew the Revolution had come. Later I couldn’t have been a colder cookie for the lakes cooled off very quickly.. but still interesting times.
I told this story to the docs in the morning and they immediately had me in consult. So yes I was very sick but mannnn besides the whole jungle thing, what a better place to be cared for?
Rotation: Of course I kinda had to work throughout all of this sweat, shiv, and delirium. Today I’m resting up more or less with a few tid bits here and there. I wanna go to a soccer game and if rains subside this will make me feel better. Yesterday in the middle of a night I got a call from a patient with a posib. dying old mother. I felt bad that I couldn’t jump out of bed to help her but I’m also starting to think there’s gotta be some limit to the craziness. I can be strong, but I gotta have the reserve to do it… yes yes?
Kiss, hug. Until the next jump:)
Monday, January 14, 2008
Ya, Con Anima y Ganas:)
The other day I was running down a dirt jungle road. And a different other day I was laying in my bed staring out an open jungle window. Both of these times I was REAL excited. Within these moments I realized the amazingness of my surroundings, physically and experientially. I also realized that what I see is not always what there be. Basically the point of my circumvention is to state that one day soon I am determined to spot a monkey in a tree and not have it fly away. So far each excited monkey spotting has actually been a false monkey yet real (in the end equally cool and more colorful) bird spotting. Do you get me? Lions, tigers and bears, not yet. Monkeys, yes, but they are hiding from me. Birds and super cool guide owls galore. Oh yes and speaking of spots, my extended torso area has been invaded by red dot aliens. I asked the Docs… and they said besides my rare sensitive and overly active blood vesseled skin condition (that they think is cool cuz you can draw the letter D on my back and it stays a clear D for a record amount of time), I’m gonna be ok.
So how’s the job going? I sat down to blog it up on Jan 7th to pronounce my one month survival point (and to reward myself a shiny #1 Best Crazy trophy). It turns out several minor emergencies prevented me from posting my excitement and awe at that particular moment.. Side linguistic note: Urgency seems to come up a lot in my daily responsibilities. The word emergency yes still means the same thing but is dealt with (by me) on a much more tranquil, matter of fact manner than I EVER would have imagined.
All in all, everything is going well. Let’s just say, in a short time I’ve learned a long distance and I’m in buen camino (good road) to discover more. I can’t remember (through ambulance trips, patient deaths, political blockades and holiday break) whether or not this past Wed-Sat was my first full week out at the clinic (jungle/Palacios). I’m pretty sure it was. After the break I received my new group of Medical Gringos. They are a small, good and valiant crew made up of 1 retired doc of maybe 70 plus years, two 4th yr med students, and one non-medical volunteer. (We would have more but the current political situation has prevented other less valiant volunteers and their Universities from permitting travel to question mark Bolivia at this time). This group’s level of Spanish is high which makes for a pleasant and consistently immersive experience for all. I know it’s really hard to explain and really hard for you to imagine what it is that I actually do here. It doesn’t make sense but pretty much everything that goes on I coordinate and pretty much any decision that needs to be made (besides the medical diagnosis) I control. In relationship to the Medical Gringo groups I pretty much always feel like I am the mama of 8 or more kids. I drive, I announce the time and manner of departure and arrival, and I give the directions, field the questions and deliver the answers as best as I can. Not only to the Medical Gringos but to pretty much everyone connected to the clinic (besides Boss Man Dr. Doug) I am the “Si, se puede” Yes you can or No you can’t” authority extraordinaire. My job does have a lot of power and responsibility but unfortunately everyone assumes that I have the answers and solutions to everything, no matter if the problem discussed is my personal responsibility or even related to my short time here, or not. This is a constant challenge but as all manageable in that crazy way.
The jungle clinic week was good. Friday was another “If I survived this I can survive anything” day. 100 plus patients, 1 urgent surgery, 1 emergency surgery, 1 straight up emergency and ZERO minutes of phone credit (for god knows what reason) made for an action packed day. Horse and buggy is quite the invention. Telephone technology still leaves a bit to be desired. Things at the clinic are kinda basket case at the moment. I’m stuck with an empty pharmacy, poor and unpredictable community organization (of the villages scheduled to come--- Thurs we had 10 patients. Fri we had 120. The number of doctors scheduled was exactly the same.), and lots of questions that lead to the expectation that I will fix it all. Head honcho Dona Maria (the listed above tasks are in her job description, not mine) is leaving for vacation on Monday…good timesJ. It’s always a bit stressful but I do my best to keep my cool, guide and help people when I can, take on extra work if my time allows and tattle troubles to Boss man and Stateside Founders (ie. I’m not supposed to be an authority figure in this manner). With the energy I have left, I leave the rest to fate and jungle tranquility.
Oh yeah and the social world in Palacios (jungle clinic) is well set. It’s common for the Gringo Clinic Volunteers to play scheduled volleyball, basketball and futbol games for night time activities with the entire village. We had our first fulbito game (soccer on a cement court) Thursday night. For the game I “estrellanar”ed (used for the first time) my new zapatillas, indoor soccer shoes I bought with buddy Zoila in the market. It was a pretty fabulous time and all of Palacios is quite surprised that their new gringita Coordinadora is no foreigner to the fulbito skills. The residents of Palacios have some mighty skills themselves. Anywhoo Wed. night Basket, Thursday night Fulbito, Friday night reunite all at the “neighborhood bar” aka the palm roof mud hut on the dirt road to the clinic. It is some dude’s house with the words Bilar painted on the side. I hear when people arrive he happily brings out a table and serves some cerveza beer and all have a great time.
My patient and hospital work in the city (Mondays and Tuesdays) is going well as well. I’ve streamlined my operations a bit (and am well on the way to making buddies with all the right people) so those days are equally busy and fun when I can take a moment to dance and enjoy through them. I’m getting into the Camba (the Santa Cruz) way and have totally realized if you expect to get work done you have to put in an equal amount of concentrated play time (jokes, gossip, chat, saltena eating and juice drinking). It’s sort of like people here in the tropics need to be warmed up first (don’t ask me why, it’s the hott hott summer here) before they are willing to entertain work ideas. Now that I’ve got the job more or less down, and have made a peace pact with the always emergent craziness… my next goal is to start my life life here. I’m scoping out some friends and will do my best to animate and explore when the “work” day is over. I have offers to go out dancing, explore the city and the upcoming carnival celebrations. I haven’t really felt like I have much time outside of work but hopefully soon I’ll feel comfortable enough to take on the extra social challenge. I’ve received lots of Coordinator Survival advice from Bolivians and past-Coordinators. The recurring theme seems to be separate myself from work (this includes the gringos who come and go) and find something in Santa Cruz that’s for my enjoyment and distraction. My time in the city is short but I’m all about finding a balance between work and play. So far I’ve had two café dates with a friend, and 1 evening of Carnival procession with Tesoro (super sweet and helpful secretary at Galene-clinic in city). It’s a small start, but paso a paso (step by step) I’m always on my way.
Love and lots of it. Happy stateside and Go Barack! Or I haven’t read the news in a few days, is he still in style?
So how’s the job going? I sat down to blog it up on Jan 7th to pronounce my one month survival point (and to reward myself a shiny #1 Best Crazy trophy). It turns out several minor emergencies prevented me from posting my excitement and awe at that particular moment.. Side linguistic note: Urgency seems to come up a lot in my daily responsibilities. The word emergency yes still means the same thing but is dealt with (by me) on a much more tranquil, matter of fact manner than I EVER would have imagined.
All in all, everything is going well. Let’s just say, in a short time I’ve learned a long distance and I’m in buen camino (good road) to discover more. I can’t remember (through ambulance trips, patient deaths, political blockades and holiday break) whether or not this past Wed-Sat was my first full week out at the clinic (jungle/Palacios). I’m pretty sure it was. After the break I received my new group of Medical Gringos. They are a small, good and valiant crew made up of 1 retired doc of maybe 70 plus years, two 4th yr med students, and one non-medical volunteer. (We would have more but the current political situation has prevented other less valiant volunteers and their Universities from permitting travel to question mark Bolivia at this time). This group’s level of Spanish is high which makes for a pleasant and consistently immersive experience for all. I know it’s really hard to explain and really hard for you to imagine what it is that I actually do here. It doesn’t make sense but pretty much everything that goes on I coordinate and pretty much any decision that needs to be made (besides the medical diagnosis) I control. In relationship to the Medical Gringo groups I pretty much always feel like I am the mama of 8 or more kids. I drive, I announce the time and manner of departure and arrival, and I give the directions, field the questions and deliver the answers as best as I can. Not only to the Medical Gringos but to pretty much everyone connected to the clinic (besides Boss Man Dr. Doug) I am the “Si, se puede” Yes you can or No you can’t” authority extraordinaire. My job does have a lot of power and responsibility but unfortunately everyone assumes that I have the answers and solutions to everything, no matter if the problem discussed is my personal responsibility or even related to my short time here, or not. This is a constant challenge but as all manageable in that crazy way.
The jungle clinic week was good. Friday was another “If I survived this I can survive anything” day. 100 plus patients, 1 urgent surgery, 1 emergency surgery, 1 straight up emergency and ZERO minutes of phone credit (for god knows what reason) made for an action packed day. Horse and buggy is quite the invention. Telephone technology still leaves a bit to be desired. Things at the clinic are kinda basket case at the moment. I’m stuck with an empty pharmacy, poor and unpredictable community organization (of the villages scheduled to come--- Thurs we had 10 patients. Fri we had 120. The number of doctors scheduled was exactly the same.), and lots of questions that lead to the expectation that I will fix it all. Head honcho Dona Maria (the listed above tasks are in her job description, not mine) is leaving for vacation on Monday…good timesJ. It’s always a bit stressful but I do my best to keep my cool, guide and help people when I can, take on extra work if my time allows and tattle troubles to Boss man and Stateside Founders (ie. I’m not supposed to be an authority figure in this manner). With the energy I have left, I leave the rest to fate and jungle tranquility.
Oh yeah and the social world in Palacios (jungle clinic) is well set. It’s common for the Gringo Clinic Volunteers to play scheduled volleyball, basketball and futbol games for night time activities with the entire village. We had our first fulbito game (soccer on a cement court) Thursday night. For the game I “estrellanar”ed (used for the first time) my new zapatillas, indoor soccer shoes I bought with buddy Zoila in the market. It was a pretty fabulous time and all of Palacios is quite surprised that their new gringita Coordinadora is no foreigner to the fulbito skills. The residents of Palacios have some mighty skills themselves. Anywhoo Wed. night Basket, Thursday night Fulbito, Friday night reunite all at the “neighborhood bar” aka the palm roof mud hut on the dirt road to the clinic. It is some dude’s house with the words Bilar painted on the side. I hear when people arrive he happily brings out a table and serves some cerveza beer and all have a great time.
My patient and hospital work in the city (Mondays and Tuesdays) is going well as well. I’ve streamlined my operations a bit (and am well on the way to making buddies with all the right people) so those days are equally busy and fun when I can take a moment to dance and enjoy through them. I’m getting into the Camba (the Santa Cruz) way and have totally realized if you expect to get work done you have to put in an equal amount of concentrated play time (jokes, gossip, chat, saltena eating and juice drinking). It’s sort of like people here in the tropics need to be warmed up first (don’t ask me why, it’s the hott hott summer here) before they are willing to entertain work ideas. Now that I’ve got the job more or less down, and have made a peace pact with the always emergent craziness… my next goal is to start my life life here. I’m scoping out some friends and will do my best to animate and explore when the “work” day is over. I have offers to go out dancing, explore the city and the upcoming carnival celebrations. I haven’t really felt like I have much time outside of work but hopefully soon I’ll feel comfortable enough to take on the extra social challenge. I’ve received lots of Coordinator Survival advice from Bolivians and past-Coordinators. The recurring theme seems to be separate myself from work (this includes the gringos who come and go) and find something in Santa Cruz that’s for my enjoyment and distraction. My time in the city is short but I’m all about finding a balance between work and play. So far I’ve had two café dates with a friend, and 1 evening of Carnival procession with Tesoro (super sweet and helpful secretary at Galene-clinic in city). It’s a small start, but paso a paso (step by step) I’m always on my way.
Love and lots of it. Happy stateside and Go Barack! Or I haven’t read the news in a few days, is he still in style?
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Who you calling Cabeza de Juevo?
Hi punky brewsters,
Feliz Año Nuevito a todos! Esperamos todo lo mejor por las aventuras que vengan to each and all for the big ´08. Translation: 2008 is here. I expect us all to bust some new jigs like we´ve never busted before.
I thought with the coming of the new year I would gift a sweet, tranquilo,non-overly crazy and non-overly stressful blog. I´m currently in the last afternoon of my wonderfully relaxing holiday vacae in Cochabamba. Over the past week I took advantage of some much needed downtime, did lots of chillin, napped (!?) once or twice, vamosed when the Energizer Bunny host fam asked, played some pretty sweet games of futbol and Basket, and most importlantly followed the Bolivians lead on what they know best: fiesta! People in this country are serious about a few things in life… for Cochabambinos it´s 1.eating 2. Political blockading and 3. “festejando” aka. Celebration that never stops.
Xmas way South here in Bolivs involves a lot more Santa Clauses, reindeer heads, snow decorations and Feliz Navidad holiday songs (both in English and directly translated into Spanish), than I ever would have imagined. It was fun to be invited into the customs and traditions of my adopted fam across the globe..they truly welcome me into their house as if I am their own. Buena noche (xmas eve) is the main fiesta. Basically I would sum it up as: festive ambience, lots of cooking really particular dishes, lots of making Pasteles de Navidad (stuffed dough fried yummies), and all throughout day and night lots of eating. By 11 pm I had thought we had eaten quiet the fill and celebrated to satisfaction, but little to my gringita knowledge, the fun was just beginning. A giant dinner was served at 11:30 pm, the Xmas was toasted in with Champagne at midnight with simultaneous kissing and hugging and felicidad happiness giving, and then wahooo (if you can stay awake) lots and lots of presents follow. My favorite part about Buena Noche was when I noticed the two glass animal elephants that were included in the Xmas manger set up aside the fake pine Xmas tree. Now I know, if I a baby Jesus figure ever hangs out in my house, I´d definitely want him accompanied by some really cute elephants. The following Xmas day was much the same, made up of big yummy meal mid’day, lots more toasting, happiness giving and game playing with extended fam and friends.
I also learned how to reign in the Year New Bolivian style. I feel like to be a celebrating Bolivian ya gotta have a really good memory. It seems for every fiesta small and large, there is a long list of must dos and donts that are to be completed in just the right way to ensure a lucky future to come. A few New Years traditions include: stuffing of 12 grapes and 12 wishes into your mouth before the clock strikes Año Nuevo (even though the Spaniards slaughtered their people and rampaged their land, this did not sour Bolivian judgement on a really wise grape tradition), inside-out colored panties and socks (red for loving, white for peace, yellow for Cash Money…inside-out for I don´t know what), the counting of paper money for prosperity in new year (they had American dollar print outs but everyone knew this year Bolivianos or Euros would be a much more stable choice), and same as in the States..all deals are sealed with a kiss. Apparently I don´t quite have the stellar Bolivian memory just yet, but these and other traditions were diligently obeyed by the best Bolivs last night. For our New Year´s celebration I squeezed into the fam´s bagoneta (old school SUV) with my host bro sis their friends and my 1 friend from study abroad and headed to Tortora (a tiny colonial pueblito 3.5 hours outside of Cochabamba). The drive was gorgeous… gigantic rollings ´´hills´´ (bigger than most mountains in the states), random Incan ruins everywhere, natural wind and water erosion rock beauties on every horizon (basically the Badlands, minus explainational signs, park fees and road trip hats). The town was tiny (2 restaurants, 2 hotels and a few convenience stores), lacking population not lacking tourists. Each New Year´s the plaza lights up (literally with an out of control street bonfire), music, dancing, live city band, lots of youngins, lots of joyousness and inebriatedness. Apparently the party continues on today and tomorrow to celebrate some Saints day where everyone in the town shows up to have Mass, share free food and drink with their visitors in hopes that the money that they donate to the party ie. The amount of faith they have in the Saint, will ensure more good things for fam and friends.
Anyways, all in all good things= good times. I promised a Kosher blog so I won´t go into the actual New Year´s eve Shenanigans… almost lost car, family drunken break up drama (host bro and Chica made a rough split), comfy Bagoneta/street sleeping (and I´m REALLY tired now), young Bolivian macho pummeling, really funny pick up lines in English…all the best surprises Bolivia has to offer.
Love u all. I´m back to the SCruz and jungle grind tomorrow. Will meet boss founder woman from States when I arrive in morn and as I say goodbye to her at airport tomorrow night will pick up the new round of Doc heads. The- I coordinate Bolivia-and we help people- cycle continues. Thanks for reading.
Feliz Año Nuevito a todos! Esperamos todo lo mejor por las aventuras que vengan to each and all for the big ´08. Translation: 2008 is here. I expect us all to bust some new jigs like we´ve never busted before.
I thought with the coming of the new year I would gift a sweet, tranquilo,non-overly crazy and non-overly stressful blog. I´m currently in the last afternoon of my wonderfully relaxing holiday vacae in Cochabamba. Over the past week I took advantage of some much needed downtime, did lots of chillin, napped (!?) once or twice, vamosed when the Energizer Bunny host fam asked, played some pretty sweet games of futbol and Basket, and most importlantly followed the Bolivians lead on what they know best: fiesta! People in this country are serious about a few things in life… for Cochabambinos it´s 1.eating 2. Political blockading and 3. “festejando” aka. Celebration that never stops.
Xmas way South here in Bolivs involves a lot more Santa Clauses, reindeer heads, snow decorations and Feliz Navidad holiday songs (both in English and directly translated into Spanish), than I ever would have imagined. It was fun to be invited into the customs and traditions of my adopted fam across the globe..they truly welcome me into their house as if I am their own. Buena noche (xmas eve) is the main fiesta. Basically I would sum it up as: festive ambience, lots of cooking really particular dishes, lots of making Pasteles de Navidad (stuffed dough fried yummies), and all throughout day and night lots of eating. By 11 pm I had thought we had eaten quiet the fill and celebrated to satisfaction, but little to my gringita knowledge, the fun was just beginning. A giant dinner was served at 11:30 pm, the Xmas was toasted in with Champagne at midnight with simultaneous kissing and hugging and felicidad happiness giving, and then wahooo (if you can stay awake) lots and lots of presents follow. My favorite part about Buena Noche was when I noticed the two glass animal elephants that were included in the Xmas manger set up aside the fake pine Xmas tree. Now I know, if I a baby Jesus figure ever hangs out in my house, I´d definitely want him accompanied by some really cute elephants. The following Xmas day was much the same, made up of big yummy meal mid’day, lots more toasting, happiness giving and game playing with extended fam and friends.
I also learned how to reign in the Year New Bolivian style. I feel like to be a celebrating Bolivian ya gotta have a really good memory. It seems for every fiesta small and large, there is a long list of must dos and donts that are to be completed in just the right way to ensure a lucky future to come. A few New Years traditions include: stuffing of 12 grapes and 12 wishes into your mouth before the clock strikes Año Nuevo (even though the Spaniards slaughtered their people and rampaged their land, this did not sour Bolivian judgement on a really wise grape tradition), inside-out colored panties and socks (red for loving, white for peace, yellow for Cash Money…inside-out for I don´t know what), the counting of paper money for prosperity in new year (they had American dollar print outs but everyone knew this year Bolivianos or Euros would be a much more stable choice), and same as in the States..all deals are sealed with a kiss. Apparently I don´t quite have the stellar Bolivian memory just yet, but these and other traditions were diligently obeyed by the best Bolivs last night. For our New Year´s celebration I squeezed into the fam´s bagoneta (old school SUV) with my host bro sis their friends and my 1 friend from study abroad and headed to Tortora (a tiny colonial pueblito 3.5 hours outside of Cochabamba). The drive was gorgeous… gigantic rollings ´´hills´´ (bigger than most mountains in the states), random Incan ruins everywhere, natural wind and water erosion rock beauties on every horizon (basically the Badlands, minus explainational signs, park fees and road trip hats). The town was tiny (2 restaurants, 2 hotels and a few convenience stores), lacking population not lacking tourists. Each New Year´s the plaza lights up (literally with an out of control street bonfire), music, dancing, live city band, lots of youngins, lots of joyousness and inebriatedness. Apparently the party continues on today and tomorrow to celebrate some Saints day where everyone in the town shows up to have Mass, share free food and drink with their visitors in hopes that the money that they donate to the party ie. The amount of faith they have in the Saint, will ensure more good things for fam and friends.
Anyways, all in all good things= good times. I promised a Kosher blog so I won´t go into the actual New Year´s eve Shenanigans… almost lost car, family drunken break up drama (host bro and Chica made a rough split), comfy Bagoneta/street sleeping (and I´m REALLY tired now), young Bolivian macho pummeling, really funny pick up lines in English…all the best surprises Bolivia has to offer.
Love u all. I´m back to the SCruz and jungle grind tomorrow. Will meet boss founder woman from States when I arrive in morn and as I say goodbye to her at airport tomorrow night will pick up the new round of Doc heads. The- I coordinate Bolivia-and we help people- cycle continues. Thanks for reading.
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